Imperfect Timing
When it comes to my love life, there seems to be a pattern. This pattern isn’t the type of guy I date or the length of the relationship, but the terrible timing that my boyfriends and I begin dating.
I started dating my first serious boyfriend the summer I graduated from high school- right before I was set to begin college. He was well aware I was heading off to a school 2 hours away to pursue my education, and we both agreed that we wanted to continue dating despite the distance.
I would be lying if I said doing the whole long-distance thing was easy. My boyfriend at the time didn’t go to college (he worked full-time and lived in our hometown) and also didn’t have access to a car. He came to visit a few times with the help of a friend, and I saw him on college breaks and long weekends. It certainly wasn’t ideal, but we made it work for the time being.
While my close friends were supportive of my long-distance relationship, the majority of people weren’t as supportive. I was so sick of everyone asking “Do you actually think a long-distance relationship is going to work in college?”
That relationship lasted for a little over 3 years (on-and-off, in typical LDR tradition). Although it ended pretty badly my senior year of college, I can at least say I learned a thing or two about dating long-distance and make far better decisions now.
As the number on the “Days to Graduation” countdown clock became fewer, I became closer with one of my friends at college, James. This was the end of my senior year of college and I certainly wasn’t looking for a serious relationship- especially with my last long-distance relationship not working out and the uncertainty of my post-college living situation. But in the typical pattern I mentioned earlier, James and I began dating despite the odd timing.
So I once again entered into the world of long-distance, but with more knowledge and a clearer head than the last time. Living almost 3 hours from each other is hard, but we plan visits a few times a month and talk every day to make it work.
I’ve learned from these experiences that although the timing and the circumstance may not be “perfect,” really great things can still come from them. I think that James came into my life at just the right time, and I’m so thankful it happened when and how it did.
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Wow, your first LDR sounds just like mine! Ugh. I’m sorry you had to go through that, but like you said- at least we can learn from the experiences! I’m really enjoying your blog!
Thanks Veralynn, it’s great to hear I’m not alone in that sense!
During college, I went home often (only a 3 hr drive) and consistently found myself in “flings” with guys back home. People always ended it for the same reason, saying distance never works and it was too hard on them. I was always willing to put in the effort but never got it in return. Then I met John, my current boyfriend, who lived in FLORIDA. I lived in PA. But you know what? Despite the distance we both put in a ton of work to stay together, flying back and forth monthly to see each other. It all depends on the relationship – if the love is there and you’re both willing to work at it, LDRs can be successful. I moved to Florida in March but the year John and I spent apart did nothing but bring us closer together. 🙂
Stephanie
You are living proof that a REALLY long-distance thing can work!
This got me choked up. I started KCH as a way to document my love of food, beauty and fashion, but also as a way to hash out my feelings for an LDR I had gotten myself into. It didn’t work out (obviously, since I’m now a single bitch) and I can relate exactly. Timing is everything, and sometimes it isn’t perfect. But if you know in your heart that there is something there, run with it.
Thank you, thank you for reposing this.
xx
M
Aw thank you for the sweet words Maria. I’ve been in your position, too and it sucks. And you are NOT a single bitch! haha 🙂