When I saw this quote on Pinterest, it struck a chord with me. I’m unfortunately one of those people that is bothered when people don’t like me (unless of course they have a damn good reason to not like me.) I work hard to be a good person and I think I’m pretty friendly. Ever since I was in middle school, I’ve had a diverse group of friends and was friendly with everyone in my class- I was voted Prom Queen for crying out loud! So I always wondered how it was possible that there were people who just didn’t like me despite how hard I tried.
As I got older, especially in college, I realized that there will be people who simply don’t like you for no reason at all. Whether it was the overweight professor who used to say nasty things about thin women while staring at me as she said them (yes, that really happened) or the group of girls who gave my friends and I the constant evil eye, I began to see this side of people. And I didn’t take it very well. I completely understand that it’s normal to just simply not like certain people- but I think there should be a valid reason.
If there’s a person that I don’t like, there is always a reason. I’m not one to immediately pass someone off as a mean or terrible person just because of what a friend of mine thinks or a rumor I’ve heard about them- that’s immature. Sadly, I know a few women who simply don’t like me because their friend dislikes me. Unfair? Yes. Did I do anything wrong or mean to any of these people? Nope. Because this happens to me, I have recently made sure to never immediately dislike or judge someone until I get to know them. Since I know how terrible it is to not be liked for a judgement or stupid reason, I try my hardest to not do it as well. I’ve noticed that I’ve met so many new people and enjoyed their company when I put away previous judgement and disregard what others might say. And it’s pretty awesome.
A friend of mine in college revealed something to me a few years back. She told me, “You know, when I first met you, I hated you.” I was shocked. Why would she hate me before she even knew me? She told me that she was intimidated by me because I was skinny and pretty and had a great outlook on life (Those were her words, not mine. I don’t know where the last one came from!) But she said that she took a step back, realized how crazy she sounded and then used her own self-confidence to get over that judgement and see me for who I was. Her and I did a radio show together for years in college and still are close friends despite our distance.
Another friend told me she used to have a bad impression of me because she was worried I’d try to steal her boyfriend- HA! The truth was that I had a boyfriend of my own to worry about, and her boyfriend and his friends were just close friends with my group of friends. But again, a stupid photo, rumor or assumption made her dislike me from the start. We now laugh about how we both had terrible impressions of one another at first and how wrong we were.
I’ve gotten better at accepting that there will simply always be people who don’t like you. There will always be someone who hates you because you are thinner, smarter or prettier than them. There will always be someone who dislikes you for who you are dating or who you are friends with. There will always be someone who dislikes you for no reason at all.
Once you begin to accept the fact that “you are not designed for everyone to like you”, life will be a little easier. I already have improved my outlook on this and learn to just try to brush it off. For every girl who dislikes me, there is a sweet comment from a blogger friend to pick me up. Or a compliment from a stranger on the street. Or a kind e-mail from an old high school classmate. By focusing on those who do enjoy every bit of you, you’ll become less focused on those who don’t.
A wise man once said, “Haters gonna hate”.
Are you the type of person who gets upset over not being liked? How do you deal with people who don;t like you?