Why Are Women So Competitive?
I’ve never been a competitive person. I know this is weird, since I’d say that most people are born with that gene, but I am not one of them. I was never really big into sports growing up (I “played” soccer for a few years and basketball up until high school), and I think a good part of that was because I wasn’t super competitive. Also, I was super shy and hated people looking at me and worried I would mess up and be hated. Yeah, it was awesome.
In high school, I was elected for many positions, including my classes’ President, Student Council President, National Honor Society President, Yearbook Editor, etc. So in that sense, I had to compete against others to win the ballot, but I never did the whole “put others down in a smear campaign so I can win” thing. Sure high school wasn’t like politics per se, but you get my point.
In college, I noticed so many of my fellow peers were super competitive in terms of internships, careers and accomplishments. In my major (Communications), it seemed like everyone in my classes tried to out-do each other by bragging about their accomplishments. “Oh, I interned at this big company”, “I spent a summer in Paris studying abroad” or “Well I’m already done with all of my required classes so I can graduate early”. Congratu-freaking-lations. Meanwhile, I was still trying to figure out what I wanted my concentration to be (I switched from journalism to public relations) and hoping I’d get some sort of internship and job after graduation.
It wasn’t just my classes that were competitive, it seemed like the “cliques” and social status was competitive as well. Everyone wanted to go to the bars where the cool kids would be, groups of friends would split up when one member of the group got a boyfriend, and nights out were all about which girl could get the most attention (usually whoever was the loudest). This all just annoyed me. I wasn’t here to compete with people, but it felt like I almost HAD to just to be recognized as a person.
Fast-forward to my current life situation. I’m in my mid-20s and have never experienced women being so competitive until now. Whether it’s who can brag about having the best job, whose relationship has been going on the longest, or who has the most fun on the weekends, I have all of this information shoved into my face 24/7. Sure, social media only makes it worse, but it’s hard to avoid that altogether. I have a great boyfriend, a job that pays the bills, a small group of true friends and a fun hobby- my blog. I don’t feel the need to compete with others to show them that my life is the best, because quite frankly, it probably isn’t.
Why do people, mainly women, feel the need to be so competitive about everything? If I wear a dress for a night out, girls will say, “Why are you so dressed up- who are you trying to impress?”, like they’re mad that their jeans and top can’t compete with my $20 H&M dress. Come on people! Or when people will go through and follow everyone I follow on Twitter to try to get more followers and compete with me. Seriously? If a Twitter follower number is a competition, then that’s just sad.
Can’t we all focus on ourselves and our own lives and stop trying to be so competitive with one another? Everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses- that’s life. The goal is to recognize our strengths and work on our weaknesses, not to prey on other’s weaknesses or try to one-up their strengths with your own.
Is it just me, or have you had to deal with competitive women? Spill your stories!
I’m 27 and my coworker is 25 and was recently she was telling about her experience with other girls which is basically like yours. See when I meet a girl if I get that competitive vibe from her I usually decide not to keep her in my cirle. Real friends do not compete with you, they support you. But on the flip side doing this got me the reputation of being snobbish, they didn’t understand why I didn’t want to be friends with them. Honestly I’m ok with that reputation and really don’t care.
There’s toxic people everywhere both male and female, when I was in college there was just a few girls in the Computer Science program and the guys were so mean and nasty to me. They only started being nice when they realized I was a good project partner to have lol. And I did the exact same thing aforementioned, I shut them all out and only hung out with the people that I felt were genuine and sweet.
It’s one of the great power we have, we cannot control how people behave but we sure can control whether we want them in our lives or not. So really competitive and nasty people don’t bother me all that much as they do not have access to me or my life, we will not be friends or hang out in the same circle ever. Hope this helps and I’m sorry.
I’m 24 and it seems like it just keeps getting worse the older I get! Grr… The problem with me is that it’s not just FRIENDS who are competitive, it’s more so people that are my peers. So fellow bloggers, people working the same industry, etc. It’s like they all want to make sure that I don’t have anything that they don’t have because that would be terrible to them! It’s sad that people I choose to cut out of my life still feel the need to compete with me, that’s the trouble. Thanks for your story!
Wow I’m sorry but these behaviors I believe are caused by insecurities and it will never end. My sister is 7 years older than me and sometimes still have to deal with this nonsense. I know it’s easy to get caught up in it but it will derail you from your goals. Just focus on being you and keep doing your own thing. Haters will hate and your real friends will always be happy for you.
Very wise words! I’d rather be hated because someone is jealous than for no one to even look at me or talk about me at all, right? 🙂
exactly! lol, and even when you don’t do anything someone somewhere will hate you for it. You just can’t win.
Great article. I am so thankful that I am not alone. I think women are off the charts with their constant one-upping. Sometimes at my office I just listen to the younger generation as they boast and later back-stab. I think it has gotten worse in this decade. I have been in the workplace for 25+ years and back in the 1980’s it was not this bad. Social media has added fuel to the fire, the helicopter parents, climbing the corporate ladder, the über Moms. Who has the granite counters, what activities and sports their children are in. I do not remember this in the 1960’s growing up when my parents were starting out. I really feel for young girls in today’s world with the selfies and the body-image to feel insecure about. Where will it all end…..
Fantastic post.. so true and so funny.. brightened my day.. appreciate your honesty and humour! One of the best blogs out there : )
Thank you so much Frankie! 🙂 Means the world to me
First off, that first photo made me crack up. Secondly, I completely agree. I feel it’s just gotten worse as we’ve gotten older. Where I live, I feel it’s extremely socially competitive. Who can get it invited to all the parties and weddings, who has the most friends. Frankly, it’s exhausting, and it really gets to me. I agree with you – people just need to focus on themselves!
haha the photo is the best! I sort of want that pouch! It definitely gets worse as we get older. It’s all about who has the most expensive bag, has the happiest “fake life” and the most comments. It’s so dumb!
That is so true! I had a “friend” that would literally copy so many things I did…and it got old. Like why are you trying to be like me, I’m not even that cool. Oh and I totally know what you mean about dresses. NO I’m not trying to impress anyone. Dresses are actually easier and more comfortable to me. Great post.
Same! The problem with me is that it’s people who aren’t even my friends who are consistently doing it. It’s like their in a competition with me for some unknown reason. And the dress thing is so bizarre, but it’s crazy how often it happens!
I think its human nature. But I agree we should focus more on improving ourselves and not so much on what someone else is doing. I personally love it when a friend looks beautiful…I am the one who always compliments for sure!
It seems social media makes competition among women so much worse. Everyone seems to be one-upping each other through their photos!
Yes- so true. Who can get the most likes or comments- it’s ridiculous! who cares!
I’m not competitive at all either…. I just don’t have it in me. I ever played any sports in high school and I just wasnt born with that gene I guess. I kind of like it that way, I don’t like to worry about what others are doing!
Yeah I sort of just don’t care who wins what haha! People are so worried about who is hotter, skinner, richer… it’s bizarre
I notice this too, in some women more than others. I do think that the Internet can aid these factors, since we’re only seeing the best parts of other peoples lives. We also can really easily see how other people react to them, in terms of # of comments, twitter followers, etc. That all said, I think that the majority of people that I try to surround myself with don’t have this mindset. There’s enough negativity in the world that I don’t need people to shame me for my successes. I want friends that celebrate with me and push me to do better.
Very true. The internet/social media only amplifies this competition. My true friends don’t behave like this (thank God!) but I have peers and friends-of-friends who seem to have taken a liking to do everything in their power to be more like me or “beat me” in whatever aspect. I should take it as a compliment, right!?
Wait, someone did that to you on Twitter!? That takes so much effort!
I think women who are competitive about petty things like what you’re wearing for a night out, or who had more fun over the weekend… are really just insecure. And they have to bring others down in order to lift themselves up. I just let that stuff roll off my shoulder and take it as a compliment! 🙂
YES! There is someone who follows everyone I follow, befriends all my blogger friends, and will submit articles to every site I am featured on. It’s kind of creepy. Actually REALLY creepy. Stalke!
Insecurity is a sad thing- you’re so right! I should be taking this as a compliment that someone wants to compete with me 🙂 Thanks girl!
I don’t notice that much bragging and competitiveness in my day-to-day life, but when I do it’s usually through social media. I always try to pull back from this, which makes me feel weird sharing accomplishments because I don’t want to be too braggy. Except with my sister – true sibling rivalry there 😉
Social media is where it’s the worst! and sibling rivalry is totally ok 🙂
I love this! I have experienced this competition thing so much but never try to let it bother me too much, though I have ended friendships over it. I don’t want to compete with friends! I totally agree, why can’t we all be happy for each other?!
Thankfully my friends aren’t really like this, but it’s more of my peers/fellow bloggers who are. I’m always so happy when a friend gets engaged, a new job, looks good, etc. It’s so weird that people don’t do this simply because they are jealous!
Totally agree! Love this post! I’m just like you – I’m not a competitive person at all. Those people just bring you down. Life is not a competition.
Grrr… Disqus is being weird for me today 🙁 But anyway I just wanted to say I 100% agree with this Rachel! I’m so sorry you have to go through this it is annoying, and I believe competition can be good in a healthy way, not competing about who has the best job, makes the most money, blah blah blah. It is hard to be happy with what you have when so many people try to throw their perfect lives at you. It has definitely gotten worse as I’ve gotten older. It is like everyone is freaking out about “getting old” so instead of just being young and carefree, everyone has to brag about what they have, how much they make etc. and this is especially true with women! I hope that you don’t have to go through this too often 🙁 It is very frustrating. Oh and I HATE HATE HATE the question: “Why are you so dressed up?” I always want to ask back “Why are you NOT dressed up?” Now what?! BAM. Schooled. JK. but I really wish people didn’t ask that, it is very silly.
same! It deleted a few of my comments earlier 🙁
I know we both go through this because we’ve talked about it before, so it’s comforting to know I’m not alone! Women who brag about their wealth, happiness, etc. are just trying to cover up their unhappiness I think.
AND WHY do people STILL ask that question? it’s beyond me. I’m sorry I like to look presentable sometimes and not wear sweatpants and my hair in a bun 24/7! haha
I personally don’t understand why women feel the need to constantly one-up one another. It’s ridiculous. The only person you should be one-upping is yourself.
exactly! The only people we should compete with is ourselves!
I saw a quote on Pinterest (obviously) that said, “Create a life that feels good on the inside and not one that just looks good on the outside” (I’m paraphrasing) and that made so much sense to me. So many people are obsessed with making sure that their life looks glamorous and perfect that they don’t take time to actually analyze how they feel. They stay with a guy because he’s hot or they keep a job because it looks important. Never mind the fact that the guy is a cheater and the job sucks. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve really tried to focus on making decisions that feel good to me, instead of worrying about whether I’ll have enough to show off on Facebook or at a high school reunion.
haha I think that’s the exact quote, so A+ paraphrasing!
I can name SO many examples of people who portray their lives as amazing or happy when I know deep down they’re not. It’s sad, isn’t it? Everyone is about one-upping each other!
I completely agree with you! Social media has only taken competitiveness to the next level…it’s really sad every new post or picture is only to try to shove it in your friends’ faces to some people. People should be focused on enjoying THEIR OWN LIFE and not comparing it to others. I read a quote somewhere that said “Comparison is the end of happiness” I hope women can realize how much happier we could be if we would just support each other instead of tearing one another down.
Very true! I understand posting photos of certain things to social media- that’s normal. But people who re-tweet compliments or brag about their expensive bag Mommy and Daddy gave them just makes me roll my eyes!
I’m sorry to hear about this foolish competitiveness. So dumb. My mom always said “worry aboyt yourself, that’s a hard enough job.” I feel that’s so true. I guess I don’t feel like I have a lot of competitiveness around me, of course I spend my days with 7th graders.
Great post! I have been dealing with competitive women all my life. I swear some of them play so dirty!
Thanks Chelsee! I’m amazed at how mean some of them can truly be. It’s all about being the best, the first, etc.
Great post, Rachel. You raise a lot of good points- why can’t women (in general) be happy for each other? Why are we always looking what someone else has and comparing it to what we have? Why compete when you could be focusing on just being happy?
It’s a great message to follow your own path (wherever that leads you), and be happy with what (and who!) you have. No need to brag, or try and justify your accomplishments.
That being said, I’m also of the school of thought that just because one is wearing a dress (be it from H&M or Neiman) it doesn’t mean they’re trying to “impress” anyone. Sometimes I just wanna dress up! 🙂
Thanks Ashley! I’m sure you deal with it a lot since you’re pretty! I think it’s our age group (born in the 80’s or early 90’s) that is the problem. So many people from that generation are narcissistic and competitive it seems. Sometimes I like curling my hair, wearing makeup, and looking good. I don’t think I should be punished for that! ha
I think it’s entertainment, media and marketing that’s pitting us against each other.
I’m not competitive either, and I notice the same thing among women. I always have to remind myself that I only have to live up to the standards I’ve set and not compare myself to others.
Good point Danielle!
girls will be girls!
ps: class president? you go giiiirrl! 😉
haha thanks! the good old days…
I refuse to compete with people.. I have narrowed down my close knit group of friends to a very small number and I just don’t have time to play those games. Plus, it puts too much stress on me and it hurts my heart. I think there comes a time in your life where you have to decide if you want to pay attention/give any thought to those who act that way– yes, when you have job you do have to be around certain types of people, but otherwise.. wash your hands of these competitive folks. All I know is that I have THE BEST FAMILY and the LOVE OF MY LIFE and no one I know can compete with that!
Very true Jamie! Sadly, most of the competitive people in my life aren’t my friends- they are peers or friends-of-friends, so it’s hard to cut someone out that’s not there in the first place!
Are you the type of person to confront those people? Maybe politely asking them or putting the question out there of why everything has to be so competitive may help? I am that kind of person.. but I know not everyone is. I hate you have to deal with this– it’s a drag and I know it’s tiresome and will really drag you down. I really hope that you are able to find a productive way to deal with it or maybe these women just get over themselves! hehe
Haha, what a great clutch!
I’m not particularly competitive, so I don’t understand this behavior at all! Haters gonna hate!
I actually am not friends with my former best friend anymore because she got so competitive that it just became too much for me. I’m not a competitive person AT ALL with friendships (sports are a different story), so it got really old really fast. It’s actually kind of sad that girls get that way. It’s so stupid.
that’s so sad! I’ve lost touch with people because of that, too. Luckily now I only have friends who are helpful- whew! It’s more peers and friends-of-friends who seem to try to be competing with me sadly! Girls are dumb- I wish I was a boy 😛
Sooo inspiring,doll! Keep rocking;-)
I’ve never understood it either. I would rather celebrate women for all that they are, because I believe that each one of us is amazing in our own way.:)
well put Amy!
I’ll just never understand why women act like this… I, like you, have never been like that. It just isn’t my thing.
exactly! it’s a mystery
I loved this! I totally agree. I’ve never been really competitive, but sometimes I get that pressure because everyone around me it. The only person I need to compete with is the me from yesterday. I need to just keep improving myself; not trying to one up someone. Thanks for this!
Thanks Sarah! Glad you enjoyed it!
I seriously love this. I’m in a sorority and while in the chapter, it was ten times worse. One of my former best friends was so competitive about who liked her the most out of our friends and who always relied on her, etc. It was just weird. We had like three of the same best friends and she always made it a point to tell me all of the things they were doing together without me and how they confided more in her than me. I missed the memo that we were competing for our friends. Every time she said something, I would just say something like, “that’s awesome!” I didn’t know what to say, so I just stopped talking to her altogether for awhile because I thought it was so dumb that she thought like that. It’s weird the way people become competitive. It just takes away from happiness or fun that could be enjoyed instead.
Thanks Suzy! 🙂
I can only imagine what a sorority would be like. I know a lot of people are in them for the benefits, but I’ve definitely heard horror stories as well. At least you’re being honest! haha to some women, friends are a competition. I’ve had that happen before, too. It’s so bizarre!
Also, I hate the “why are you dressed up” question. I mean, a girl wants to look presentable when she goes outside of her house. Sometimes, I just want to be like, “Sorry, I didn’t get the hot mess memo today.” But that would be mean and I just want to have a good day haha.
I know, right!?
This is very true. A lot of my friends are getting married this year and I feel like all of these weddings become a competition too! I think its just how girls operate, unfortunately!
Yes- I’ve noticed that this happens a lot to people in terms of getting engaged, etc.
Ha ha, you and I are the same in that if I smell competition coming towards me, I run in the other direction! 🙂 I’m the least competitive person I know, and actually back down when something becomes the slightest bit competitive. I do not understand why women feel the need to be competitive with each other in life. Who honestly cares if you have a better job than me, the newest designer bag when mine’s last season, or if you head to Europe while I “staycation” in my backyard. I believe that that type of competition stems from insecurity. Those woman have to feel that they are better than you in order to feel good about themselves. It’s actually quite sad. Great post Rachel!
haha I totally can relate! Especially about the designer bag and staycation part 🙂
I’ve never understood this either. At my job (I’ve been there over 5 years) if any “pretty” girl gets hired everyone automatically thinks I’ll be jealous of her. In actuality I could care less, as long as they are hard workers I really wouldn’t care what they looked like. I think it’s even crazier that men think all women are like this. I love the bond that two women can possess if they choose to be mature about it which is why it astounds me that some women would rather compete with each other. You have me all riled up here, haha! I’m glad you’re not one of these competitive women. I feel like in real life you’re probably a pretty cool chick and would definitely be someone I would hang out with 🙂
Oh wow that’s so stupid! Especially because of the type of job you work- I wouldn’t think appearance would even matter, you know? I was riled up too haha hence the post! 🙂 And I am a cool chick, but not as cool as you are I’m sure
This is something I’ve experienced, but it never really bothered me until right now. I’ve never really dealt with competitiveness in the workplace (at least directly) until I started my new job. I don’t bear the brunt of it it, but I watch others try to one up themselves. It’s funny, especially because the agency as a whole has a really supportive culture..but it’s the women who are constantly trying to privately one up each other or throw each other under the bus. I’m sure I’m guilty of it without even realizing, which is twice as sad.
I haven’t had to deal with it in the workplace thankfully, but I have a lot of friends who do. It’s crazy!
I know exactly what you mean, and social media really does make it worse. Seems like we are expected to have the perfect job, boyfriend and social life and its impossible!
Oh gosh, I really was hoping all the BS would stop after high school, but you’re so right! It has just followed me straight to university! I have always been an incredibly academic person, and quite often got good marks at school, but I never used to tell people what I got in exams because I knew that the consequence would be bitchiness. There was one girl, while I was at high school, who completely stopped talking to me when I became School Captain! She had been telling all her family and friends that she was going to get it, then when I did she refused to talk to me for ages, and even now, while we are at university (unfortunately the same one, although I don’t see her often) she still feels the need to ostracise me wherever possible and try to one-up me with the marks she gets, etc. Women are crappy sometimes. Which is probably why I tend to just hang around my boyfriend and my little group of close friends.
College is where it gets the worst I think because everyone is competing for jobs, boyfriends, etc. (sounds dumb, but it’s true!) That girl obviously is insecure and jealous of your accomplishments and anyone can see that!
Sounds like you have a healthy perspective on things. Fortunately I think most people eventually come to the realization that it’s more important to focus on creating a healthy/happy life for yourself. 🙂
Yes- us non-crazies realize that!
I agree with Stephanie….you do have a very healthy perspective on things. And some people just have that better than thou attitude and always want to one up you. Or parade their accomplishments and achievements….and there’s not much you can do about it. Maybe they feel insecure or threatened by you? Who knows why…but no need to surround yourself with people who are constantly trying to compete with you. It’s good that you have a group of friends that you can really count on and girl your confident and content with what you have…which is AWESOME!
Thankfully I have good friends, it’s more my peers and friends-of-friends who have this competition with me sadly. I try to just have an honest perspective on it all- I don’t think I’m awesome, but I’m not going to pretend that these people aren’t trying to one-up me, you know?
Another great post! I’m the same way.. I’ve never been really competitive and I just frankly do not get it. I know I’ve mentioned this to you before, but a few years ago I moved out of State with my boyfriend. I don’t know what it was, just moving out on our own for the first time or what but I suddenly noticed I felt very competitive against other women and I don’t even know why. Maybe it’s something about turning 30, I don’t know. But I’m aware of it now so I can tell that part of my brain to hush down when I don’t need to listen to it. It definitely makes life easier and makes getting along with other women easier 🙂
Thanks so much Melanie! I try to ignore it as well, but sometimes I like writing it all out!
oh I understand that very well! One of the best ways to get things out of one’s head 🙂
I’m not competitive either and that is why I kick those type of friends to the curb. I do not like the defensive person I become around people like that, feeling at times a need to defend my decisions or my life when I really do not need to explain that to anyone. No one enjoys an intensive, competitive and catty atmosphere. In my spare time, I want to wind down and relax and have small talk, not hear about how amazingly better someone is doing than me. Frankly, I do not care.
We’ve talked about this before (PS, thanks for that!) – and it really is just sad. Have you ever just called this person(s) out? Sounds like it’s been happening for awhile now… and social media really does make the competition worse since we all get “scored” by the numbers we have. I hope your stalker finds a life, and quits trying to have yours 😉
yes! I’ve had many bloggers actually who have reached out to me because they’ve felt the same way. It’s sad, but at least we’re all not alone! 🙂
The thing that scares me is that it seems to get WORSE with age! Now it’s jobs, engagements, clothes, whatever, later it seems to be houses, kids, what school said kid goes to blah, blah, blah.
As terrible as it may sound, this is one of the reasons why I can’t get behind the whole “Lean In” movement. Don’t get me wrong, I believe strongly in supporting women and if someone needs a helping hand or my support in anyway, I am always more than happy to do so. But time and time again I’ve been in situations where other women have used my help or support as a way to belittle or manipulate. SO RIDICULOUS! I don’t bother with people who try to be competitive with me, cause I truly do think it’s stupid and pointless. Go on with your life and I’ll go on with mine!
YES! Now is the worst time I think (our 20’s) And I can totally agree about other women taking advantage of you for being gracious/helpful- it’s the worst!
I totally agree with you! I am getting older and now with my college friends, it’s competition over internships, jobs, education, engagements, style, beauty and on and on! people are rushing to get married and miserable just to show they did it first. It is CRAZY!! They are hurting themselves.
I have been bullied & isolated by other women for a long time because I’m kind and non- competitive by nature.The hard truth is,people take advantage of kindness. One day I got tired of it & adapted accordingly. I’ve become competitive against other women. I brag & show off sometimes, & always voice my opinions, which are sometimes a little harsh. I however DO NOT harm or put others down to get ahead. I’ve since gained more friends and respect. I’m happier. Hey, you gotta play the game sometimes.
There are those that strive for their personal best in athletics, arts, etc., and that’s an entirely different thing when they do it with quiet determination. But in day to day life, the bragging, super competitive personality usually signifies a very insecure person. The need to always be the best and win at everything is a search for external validation. If we are always busy comparing ourselves, then we lose precious opportunities to make the best of our own unique gifts and talents. You make the best You in existence! You make a terrible someone else.
You’re boyfriend is a lucky man. The 3 women Ive had in my life where all down to Earth. I was blessed with each of them. Sure they could get competitive when the situation called for it, being a little bitch catty, but that just made them more hot. Down to Earth girls that can hold their own, without the insecure demanding bitchiness, HOT. Down to Earth girls that love to look good, and are sweet, good people HOT.
A woman, more like girl, with a high paying job and multiple degrees that acts like a stubborn child at work, and tries too hard to speak first or get the attention of the boss, and is constantly making other girls in the office look bad through awful remarks, is a fkn waste of salary. To those girls who think men are obtuse about this behavior, we can tell, you’re about as covert as Marilyn Manson in a Convent.
I’m so happy I found this post. I was beginning to think that I was the only person who has this problem. Its like every girlfriend I’ve ever had has always been like this!! I just sense the tension when I am with them. Every single thing I say, they have to correct me or one up me. They feel compelled to prove that they have the best life; the best boyfriend, the best job, the best car, the best living situation, the best style, the best vacations, the best hair, the best makeup, the best body!?! It’s like OMG! I just want to have fun! They insist we hang out and get close but why would I spend my valuable time with people who are competing with me and seem catty when I can be with people who’s company I actually enjoy? I don’t know what it is. It is plain unhealthy. I want genuine girlfriends who’s company I enjoy, not a full blown competition at every minute. It’s like damn! Good for you if you are doing so good, I applaud you, I don’t want to be you and never would. I am not out here rushing everything in my life to compete with people. I trust the timing of my life and I like how I look and who I am, and I just feel they must be insecure or something. They boast, broadcast and plain old lie to out do me. It is even comedic sometimes when it’s not annoying. Like woah! This person is jumping hoops just to prove to me they are doing better than me. I will never understand it. I have never had solid girlfriends or kept any friends around for this reason. I just do not enjoy that intense environment with catty remarks and people pretending they don’t know what they are saying or doing. I can read people very well and I see the looks they give me and the spite in their eyes. To me, that is not a friendship. I really mostly prefer to be alone and there are very FEW females I like to spend time with. Honestly speaking, I’ve noticed it’s the not so good looking ones that are like this. I’ve also noticed those that are actually doing well are never boastful. It is all lies!! They can’t even keep their stories straight. I am 24 and life is too amazing and fun for me to waste time pretending to enjoy someone’s company. I kick them to curb! I’ve just grown up and realized, if someone doesn’t make you happy or contribute any substance to your life, you have no obligation to keep them in it! I do not get what these ill-minded individuals get from putting someone else down?!? It doesn’t pull them up! I am not in second grade to compete about who’s things are better. I am happy with myself. You will hurt yourself id you try to compete with other women, when in actuality they are LYING about their life and living in jealous misery of you.