In today’s day and age, I find myself (and others) often focusing more on the things we dislike about ourselves than the things we like about ourselves. There’s this catch-22 that if you always talk poorly about yourself that you have no self esteem and you’re a loser. But then if you compliment yourself, you’re a bragging narcissistic you-know-what. There’s no happy medium, really, and I think that just stinks.
While I’d love to change a few things about myself (I’d like thicker legs, a smaller nose, eyebrows that arch more- seriously, I’m weird), there are plenty of things that I actually do like about myself. I’ve found that as I’ve gotten older, I’ve gotten a lot better on focusing on the good instead of the bad. It’s changed the way I see myself, see others and how happy I am with my own life.
It’s so easy to fall in to the trap of comparison. We see a model who is taller and thinner than us and we clench our own stomach fat. We see a former classmate get that coveted job at a Fortune-500 company and we feel stupid. We see our friends all paired up while we spend our weekends with our TV boyfriends. The truth is- everyone has things they dislike about themselves, even the richest, smartest and most beautiful people in the world. But you’d never know that because they have confidence. One of the easiest ways to gain confidence is to focus on the things you DO like about yourself. So, I’m going to start this revolution by writing about a few things I love about myself. I encourage you to do the same- whether it’s on your own blog, in the comments on this post, or in your personal journal.
Although growing up I didn’t how how to style it- I cut it way too short and I wore it in a ponytail too often- I’ve learned to love my hair. Once I started growing it out, taking care of it and learning how to style it, I began to like the way I looked. I get more compliments on my hair than anything else- in it’s natural state, curled state and straight state. I associate long, healthy hair with femininity, so having my long wavy locks makes me feel like a woman. Corny, I know, but still… My natural wavy hair is easy to style- I can curl it or straighten it and both will last. Versatile hair is something not everyone is born with, so I’m lucky to have mine and I love it.
My sense of humor
Everyone thinks they are funny. Or they say that “a good sense of humor” is number one on their list of a mate. But the truth is, most people aren’t that funny. Or their version of funny is mean, gross or too weird. I have more of a witty, sarcastic, sometimes self-deprecating sense of humor that can easily be related to. When people laugh at me or tell me I’m funny (especially when I’ve just met them or they read something I wrote), it means the world to me. People these days can be so uptight and take everything too seriously, so having a good sense of humor is something I love about myself (and apparently my male friends in college did, too, since they gave me the award above at the end of our senior year!)
No, I’m not taking about my physical backbone (because that one is probably in poor condition from my posture), but more about the figurative one. Having a backbone means you stand up for yourself, don’t take shit from other people and know your worth. This trait can be mistaken for being controlling, nasty or stubborn, but it really is just the opposite. I value myself enough to know when to say no, when to tell people they are wrong and when to tell myself “you deserve better, Rachel”. It breaks my heart seeing girls who get walked over on by their crappy boyfriends or women who put up with friends who ruin their self confidence. Maybe I’ve lost a few friends along the way or gained a few haters, but being honest and valuing myself is a trait that I love.
So now that you’ve heard mine, tell me 3 things you love about yourself!