A Woman to Watch: Annabelle DeSisto

“A Woman to Watch” is an interview blog series focusing on women who are doing big things in their careers. Whether they run their own successful business or have a unique hobby, these women should be noticed for what they are working on. I suggest you start following them now so you can say you knew them before they “made it.” 

Lots of people think that beautiful women can’t be funny, but Annabelle DeSisto proves them all wrong. Take one look at her and you may think you’ve found the Kardashian’s long-lost sister. I mean, she looks like a girl who would go on The Bachelor and instantly be hated by all the other women since she’s hot. But DeSisto isn’t just a pretty face — she has a self-deprecating humor that makes her instantly likable.

Currently located in LA, you may have listened to the comedian and reality TV blogger on the various podcasts she has been a guest on (like my personal favorite, Straight Up with Stassi) or laughed at her jokes on Fashion Police. Annabelle and I share a love of cats, reality TV, and our own hair, so it’s easy to see why I chose her as my first ever “Woman to Watch”. Read on to learn more about how she got into comedy and what products she uses to get those gorgeous eyebrows. #browenvy

I first became a fan of yours when I heard you on Stassi’s podcast, Straight Up with Stassi. You are hilarious! How did you get your start in comedy? How did you know you wanted to become a comedian?

Thank you! All I’ve ever wanted is a fan that doesn’t have the same last name as me. I had always loved comedy & growing up I did theater and improv. My dream was to be on Saturday Night Live. I never in my life thought I would ever do stand-up.

I was moving to LA and didn’t know anyone, didn’t have a job set up, and didn’t have a roommate. I was worried about how I was going to make girlfriends. I can’t go to a bar by myself and go up to some girl and say, “Hey you look like a cool girl, we should hang out sometime!” She’ll think I’m a lunatic or hitting on her.

One of the comedians I love, Heather McDonald, tweeted a link to an all-female stand up comedy class and I thought, “That seems like a non-creepy way to make new friends.” So I got into stand-up comedy the same reason every male comic gets into it — to meet girls.

What are some of your greatest accomplishments in your comedy career so far?

My first writing job was getting to write jokes for Joan Rivers on Fashion Police. I was 25 and had never written anything besides my own stand-up and Facebook statuses, and now I’m getting to write for the most famous female comedian of all time (who paved the way for women in comedy). Just a year earlier my Mom and I had seen Joan on tour and I never thought in a million years I would ever get the chance to meet her, let alone work for her.

I went from doing extra work (where you’re background on TV/movies and get treated like cattle) to getting paid to judge celebrities’ clothes, which I was doing for free anyway every time I watched a red carpet. I had never written on a show before and, unlike most shows where the writers are in a room together, Fashion Police was just you sending in your own jokes over email. You would get about 17 pictures of outfits and have to write 20 jokes per picture that were due in two days. Then a few hours before taping they would sometimes send you completely new pictures they were adding or say, “We need 20 more jokes on Rihanna’s purse.” It was such a great learning experience on writing jokes and getting out of writers block because you had such a short time to produce them.

It was always exciting watching the show because you had no idea which of your jokes had made it through dress rehearsal onto the final show. Getting to hear her say your joke was the biggest rush of all time. I’ve never done heroin but I assume that’s what the feeling is like.

When someone compliments me on my hair, they instantly become my BFF. You obviously get a ton of compliments on your long, pretty locks. What is your secret?
That’s the way to my heart too! My hair is my greatest achievement (besides Fashion Police). I have actually gotten into arguments with people because they don’t believe me that my hair is real. People ask me how I got it this long or what I use and I wish I had a good answer besides, “I’m Sicilian”, but that’s really it. Italians are hair machines. On my head it looks great, but everywhere else on my body is a teen wolf situation if I don’t keep up on shaving, laser removal, and waxing. It’s a mess.

I stopped washing my hair and blow drying it so frequently because of the heat damage I was getting, so dry shampoo is my best friend. I love Drybar’s products because they smell amazing. Their Triple Sec 3-in-1 Spray and Sparkling Soda Shine Mist are my favorites, as well as their Happy Hour Shampoo! I also use CHI Heat Protection Spray before I straighten my hair.

You’re also not shy about the amazing power of makeup. What are some of your favorite makeup products or tips and tricks?

I can never wear enough makeup! I want my face to look like a stripper entered a beauty pageant. I love MAKE UP FOR EVER Mat Velvet + Mattifying Foundation — it’s full-coverage and doesn’t make me break out.

I love false eyelashes. My favorite brand is House of Lashes because they are made from human hair and not mink (I’m a vegetarian, so I can’t stand the idea of a mink having to suffer so I can have full lashes). A lot of my friends have trouble putting on false eyelashes and it’s because they use to much glue and don’t wait for it to almost dry before putting them on. Use a little drop of glue and run the lash through it with tweezers so that it gets the bare minimum you need. Then blow on the glue lash for a few seconds so it gets tacky and then put the lash on. I always use tweezers to put them on because its easier for me.

I love Inglot 77 Gel Liner. It’s so black and one pot lasts you forever. I also purchased a curved eyeliner brush on Amazon for really cheap and its helped me so much with getting a cat eye/Adele look. I learned from Dita Von Teese’s book to always put your eyeliner on with your eye open instead of closed, since people are going to be seeing your eyeliner while your eyes are open. I use scotch tape and put it at the corner of my eyes going up. This gives you an automatic cat eye shape for your eye shadow.

Urban Decay Perversion is my new favorite mascara. My lashes are so stubby without false lashes on, but this mascara works wonders!

After I’m done with my eye makeup and lashes,  I use a makeup remover wipe to clear away any eye shadow fallout. Then I do my foundation and concealer. I also use my concealer as a base for my eye shadow. Lastly, I always mist my makeup when I’m all done with Evian Spray to set it. It also makes it look more natural and less powdery.

In January of this year, you started Adderall and Compliments, a blog where you write hilarious recaps of your favorite reality TV shows. How has that been going?
I love it! It’s been such a great way to get to express my opinions about these shows. At first I was just doing it as a creative writing outlet and didn’t think anyone would actually read it. But then when I started getting messages saying, “This is exactly what I was thinking!”, and it made me so happy that other fans of the show felt the same way! It makes me so happy when people say that it makes them laugh while reading it — there’s nothing that makes me happier than that (besides my cats).

You’re a self-described crazy cat lady. (Your three furballs beat my two.) What are their names? Any cute/funny stories?
OMG as if I didn’t love you enough already you’re a fellow cat lady too! I have 3, but if it were up to me and it wouldn’t break my apartment regulations, I would have 30! My dream is to be Beth Stern — if you don’t follow her on Instagram, you need to. She’s Howard Stern’s wife & a bikini model, but her main job is running a cat rescue from their home. She always has at least 20 kittens, so her Instagram page is just adorable cat pictures. She’s married to a funny, tall Jew and rescues fur babies all day — that is my ultimate goal!

I have all boy cats. There’s Tuxedo (because he’s a Tuxedo cat — very original name!), who I rescued in 2008 when I was a freshman in college. (He’s been with me through it all and he’s my longest relationship). Then there’s Weezy & Jefferson (who are brothers I rescued after they had been thrown out of a car). That’s how Weezy got his name — he was so young when it happened that it affected his breathing. So when he was little he wheezed and sounded like a serial killer was behind you.

They are way funnier than me. I hate to leave the house because I’m like, “What if while I’m out, they play with a ball and I’m not here to take 200 pictures of it?!” Jefferson likes to steal weird items — like the time I came home and found my shower cap in the kitchen. And Tuxedo is the biggest attention whore I’ve ever met — even more than my comedian friends, which is really saying something.

You can keep up with Annabelle on Instagram or follow her blog, Adderall and Compliments.